March 1, 2021

Hey! I know I will be calling in a few hours, but I figured I would send an email update of some of the highlights of my week. The first thing, mom asked me to keep track of what I was excited for the next day every night, so I wrote that down in my journal before bed. I had a handful of nignts when I was really looking forward to my workput in the morning and a great personal study, and it always turned out to be awesome. I also often had a lesson to note that I knew would happen and be really enjoyable. We had exchanges with the DL on fridag, and I went with his companion, which we weren't very edcited for (elder cannon and I), as it was really boring and I had to leave the area, but I did decide to look forward to my morning, and that made the day more bearable. I felt like I had things to smile about most days, and I was also more present, which allowed me to enjoy this week more. I am going to do this for a while, because it seems to be helping so far. I also started standing up to do a lot of my studies! We have a kitchen counter top that is perfect height, so I feel less couped up and burn off some steam slowly but surely. Helps me to feel more productive and tired by the end of the day. The other elders here think I am going to be the AP and thats one of the reasons why. Its funny to hear them joke about how productive I am, or what did Gina call it mom? Turbo? But it also reminds me of my buddies at home. A lot different than my last companionship dynamics have been. But we all get along great here, and elder cannon and I are becoming great friends. We like to through the football and talk for the last few minutes of dinner every night, and then after 9 we all talk and have fun, and elder Zabriskie loves to talk about girls and he is so funny. Much different as well than past missionaries who felt like sinners for doing the same haha. I look forward to our talks every night, and though I am exhausted, by 10:30 I am slightly bummed to be going to sleep. I had a counseling session on Wednesday. It was really helpful, and we talked for about 90 minutes. She built upon the advice president has given me, and dad as well, and told me that the things happening that I worry about are supposed to happen to missionaries who focus on the work at hand. It was really an uplifting experience, and she allowed me to voice my concerns, and then explained to me that I have no reason to worry, and gave me some good excersizes and techniques to use when I get anxious. We are meeting again on Wednesday and I am really looking forward to it. This week I finished the Book of Mormon, and had an incredible experience. I loved Moroni 7 as usual, but this time took several new insights. I love verse 3, and felt impressed that rest comes thru hope in Jesus Christ. I have spent so much time with no hope. Worrying, analyzing, and stressing, spiraling into thinking the good times of my life are behind me, but this verse touched my heart and told me that until I have hope for my future, I am certainly not going to be able to relax. And like it says in 26, I can achieve anything I want! I can be a successful missionary, find happiness in the field, be a leader, and so much more, as long as I put my faith in the Savior. Verse 43 really impressed me as well. It says you can't have hope without being lowly of heart. I have certainly gotten to be lowly of heart, and this told me that because of that, I have learned truly how important hope is. All that being said, I still don't have a perfect hope. This week was better, but I still have a long ways to go, and will continue to appreciate hearing of your love and support frequently. It is a process, but I feel that I am taking steps in the right direction. Can't wait to talk soon, love you, and am eternally grateful for all you do. McClain